Posted by: Marisa | November 11, 2013

Mr. Tinkle Pants and The Grocery Cart Debacle

Just before his second birthday L decided he was finished peeing in diapers and transitioned into the world of big boy undies and plastic potties. A week at the beach with his younger, potty trained cousin, was a nudge in the right direction but the realization that being potty trained meant he could take a standing leak on a tree sealed the deal.

I didn’t plan on teaching my child to be a barbarian at such a young age but the first time we left the house without a diaper we were at a festival in a local park. He started doing the tinkle dance and I knew there was no way we were going to make it to the bathroom on time. I ran him to the edge of the woods, behind a car, pulled down his pants and introduced him to the most convenient reason it’s better to be male than female. Once I had him situated and he was ooh-ing and ahh-ing over how awesome his new life was I looked up and realized that I had walked us just far enough into the woods that we were now facing the trail that led everyone into the festival. People walking past us could very clearly see what was happening. As they looked L shouted, “I did it! I go pee-pee!”

The problem with this new found freedom called ‘potty trained’ is that once you stop wearing a saggy old diaper you don’t want to go back but having to stop whatever fun you’re having to go to the bathroom isn’t reasonable either. So now we’re in the I  refused to put on a diaper but was having so much fun not telling you that I had to pee that I peed all over myself phase.

I’m now convinced that Target strategically places their bathrooms as far away from the kid section as possible to ensure that any toddler who yells tinkle has no chance in hell of making it to the bathroom on time. It’s a bonus if his mom forgets a change of clothes, has to strip him naked, run to customer service for a plastic bag, rush back to the kid section with a streaking toddler in tow, and buy a new wardrobe. The silver lining that day were the cute little foot prints L-bear left behind as he sloshed his way out of the store sporting a new outfit from head to ankles.

Peeing on the floor of Target wasn’t fun but in the long run it was relatively painless. Painful was when we were grocery shopping with both kids, had L in the back of the shopping cart, and started to see a trail of liquid dripping down by our feet. The minute we realized it was pee we stopped in our tracks and did one of those oh.my.oh.my.no. hesitations as it dawned on us that most of our groceries had been placed under the cart in an attempt to protect them from manhandling toddlers. #Fail. I started to run through the conversation I was about to have with the store manager, “Um, sir, do we have to buy these peed on eggs? How about the milk? And the meat? The napkins?”

As the hubs and I were trying to figure out what to do with the mess L turns to J and proudly shouts, “Jay-jay, that’s my pee!” J says, “Yeah!”And they both have a good laugh at the whole situation.

 

 

 

 

 

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Responses

  1. Have missed seeing more posts about the boys. My grandson is 3 1/2 and refuse to “stay” potty trained for more than 24 hours. The negative attention is winning out. Plus the other childcare boys are in diapers — no help there. Miss hearing about L. and J. tho.

    • Thanks for the comment Linda. I miss writing more about the boys as well. I keep promising myself that I’ll write more…I’ll try to keep up with it.


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