Posted by: Marisa | November 24, 2013

Open Sesame

When the boys were learning to crawl people loved to tell me that my sanity was about to end, that life was going to become so hard, and that I’d better brace myself because shizat was about to hit the fan. “Oh my, you’re going to have two babies crawling around the house eating everything in sight!” I braced myself for the fact that I could no longer put my little bundles of spit n’ poo on the floor in one room, leave, enjoy a tall glass of white wine on the deck, and come back several hundred minutes later to find them in the same room. Crawling was a milestone I was prepared to selfishly dislike just a little. The same is true for walking. It’s a logistical nightmare to have to rally two kids into their bedroom, away from the top of the stairs, or through a parking lot.  Again, I was prepared to be slightly annoyed at my loss of freedom when this milestone hit.

But none of the fore-warners who were all ‘oh my gosh walking is going to be so bad’ bothered to prepare me for the milestones we’re currently hitting and I’m wishing they had because I needed some time to mentally and emotionally prepare for this.

Open Sesame

Last week I had an unexpected call with a client and couldn’t get the boys to the sitters house.  I did what has always worked which was pour bags of junk food into plastic bowls, hand them to the boys,  and plop them in front of a 52 inch, plasma, Elmo. Then, I went upstairs, out the front door and sat down on the steps. Less than five minutes later I hear a little L’bear running around the side of the house calling my name. My stomach drops as I see him running towards me.

Shut the front door.

That little punk figured out how to turn a door handle and let himself out of the effing house! Besides feeling like a jerk of a mother for allowing my kid to come running into the front yard unattended I was legitimately worried about where number two was. I’m not sure if you know but when we moved into our new house we inherited a pond. Not a real one, a fake one full of needy little fish with just enough water to cause problems. I abruptly ended my call, grabbed L, went running back to the pond, saw that J wasn’t there, went running into the house, looked in the laundry room, the shop, and all the dangerously non kid friendly places we have. Finally, just as I was about to throw up from the panic I was feeling I heard J giggling in the storage closet. I walked in, saw nothing, and looked around confused.

Eventually, I found him. Can you?


Milestone: Being able to turn door handles and let themselves out of the house. Dear Santa, I’d like some door bolts for Christmas.


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